Knotted Ends
by Obeec
Summary: Deep down, Santana knew he had nothing to do with anything. He was just the evidence of her mistake. Of the argument with the love of her life that resulted in her getting drunk and engaging in unprotected sex with some guy she wouldn't even recognize again. The cause of losing her tall, blonde and blue eyed beauty. The girl she's been in love with since middle school.
1. Only the beginning

**(A/N: So this is the first thing i have EVER written. I always get story idea's, but i don't rate myself as a writer at all. So i thought I'd put this out there and see how it goes :D)  
**

**Knotted Ends.**

Santana stared at the infant smiling up at her in his crib with a blank expression.  
Four weeks of being around him constantly and she still felt numb.

His big brown eyes began to scan her face. As if picking up on her emotion, or lack of, his features suddenly saddened and he started to cry.

Santana instantly started to panic as she watched him bawl his little eyes out and kick his legs toward her. She wanted to reach out and touch him, hoping that she'd somehow feel something for the child she feels has ruined her life.  
The child that was no older than a month old and yet was already the spitting image of his young Latina mother. So innocent to the world yet causing so much pain to his mother without intention.

Deep down, Santana knew he had nothing to do with anything. He was just the evidence of her mistake. Of the argument with the love of her life that resulted in her getting drunk and engaging in unprotected sex with some guy she wouldn't even recognize again. The cause of losing her tall, blonde and blue-eyed beauty. The girl she's been in love with since middle school and still is now, her senior year. The girl she lost to resentment and disgust. The girl she's sure she'll be facing in an hour when she goes back to school, to be met with whispers and curious stares.

"Santana?"

Looking toward the door, she see's her best friend coming toward the crib with a pitiful look on her face, reminding her that the child, _her son_, is still crying for attention.

She watches as Quinn picks up the tiny boy and holds him to her neck.  
"Hey there, Theo. Lets get you some food, huh? Give mama the chance to get dressed." Quinn looked at her with a pointed look, letting her now she had to get a move on.

* * *

When the girls eventually pulled into the parking lot, Santana suddenly tightened her grip on her bag and shot a fearful look toward Quinn.  
Sensing her best friends inner struggle, the blonde petted her shoulder with an encouraging smile.

"You can get through this, San. Just pull through today, ignore the looks and the talks. I'll be here, Puck and Sam, too. We've got you." Quinn said to the Latina.

"I-.. Quinn.." Santana breathed out, trembling slightly.  
"I mean- does she.. hate me? I don't think i can deal with seeing her knowing she hates me. I just cant do it, Quinn."

Quinn stared at the Latina for a few moments, already familiar with the same broken look that's been on her face for the past couple of months.  
"We both know she couldn't ever hate you, Santana. But you obviously understand what you put her through, with the cheating and the pr-"

"I get it!" Santana interrupted.

Seeing the pain and sorrow on Santana's face, Quinn was about to apologise when the Latina's eyes focused on something over her shoulder and suddenly widened.  
Turning, Quinn's jaw dropped when she saw her boyfriend and their two blonde best friends coming toward them.

"Britt.." Santana whispered, almost inaudibly.  
Staring at Puck and both blondes getting closer to the car, Santana noticed the smiles on the boy's faces when they saw her through the glass.

"Don't worry, San. Lets go, come on." Quinn said, before stepping out of her car and walking toward the main doors with her boyfriend and Sam.

Santana was brought out of her daze when someone opened her door and held out their hand for her to take.  
She looked toward the long, pale fingers and followed the arm up to long blonde locks, further up to bright blue eyes.  
She noticed though, that the blondes eyes were narrowed into a hard stare, focused on something over the roof of the car.

Santana hesitantly took the offered hand and climbed out of the car, suddenly feeling exposed to the stares she was sure were being sent her way.  
As she began to remove her hand from the blondes grasp, she was shocked when the pale hand suddenly tightened around her own.  
When she looked up, she noticed Brittany's stare was still focused elsewhere. Following her gaze, she had to swallow a lump in her throat when she realized looking back at her with an unreadable expression on his face, was her own younger brother, Alberto.

"Britt.." She whispered, hesitantly.

To say she was confused would be an understatement, Brittany hadn't spoken to her since the day she told her she was pregnant, almost six months ago. Even then, their conversation ended with them screaming at each other and eventually breaking up.

"Can we.. Um- can we.. Go somewhere? Somewhere that isn't here.." The blonde said as her gaze traveled around the busy car park, eventually looking down to their still joined hands.

"Yeah, Britt. Of course we can." Santana said softly, squeezing the blondes hand, signalling her to lead the way.

Brittany took them across the football field, stopping when they reached the familiar couch under the bleachers.

Santana watched as the blonde turned to face her with a conflicted and almost pained look on her face.  
Her hand was still connected to the blondes, so she slowly intertwined their fingers, hoping to encourage her ex-girlfriend to say whatever she was thinking and hoping it wouldn't break her heart.

When the blonde squeezed her hand gently, Santana looked back up to her loves face. She knew by the furrowed eyebrows and the trembling lip between her teeth, that this conversation could go either way.


	2. Road to everything

**A/N: Second chapter :D Again. I'm not a writer at all and I've literally never written anything before. Anyways, hopefully you'll let me know what you think of this. All feedback is welcome. Please and Thank-you. :) **

Chapter 2

Santana stood patiently waiting for Brittany to get her words together.

They'd been standing in silence for a few minutes now, with only the sound of their breathing keeping them from dead silence.

"Britt.. We don't have to talk if you're not ready." Santana said hesitantly, waiting for the blonde to react.

Brittany's face gained a look of confusion toward the Latina.  
"We have to talk Santana, better now than later," Santana looked up at her ex-girlfriend when the warmth suddenly left her hand. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to say to you. I never thought we'd be here, you know? You have to know your everything to me, San. You always will be, but what you did.. It- It really hurt me."

"Britt, I'm s-" Santana choked out before she was interrupted.

"Please don't say you're sorry, Santana. I don't think I can forgive you," Brittany said, her heart aching when she saw the first tear trailing down caramel skin, "at least not yet." she added.

The blonde watched as Santana's pained look suddenly turned into a more hopeful, determined one.

"Neither of us wanted this, Santana. But it happened. It happened and there's nothing we can do about it, all we can do is move on, you know?"

Santana suddenly looked broken at the blondes words, so she quickly corrected herself.  
"No! Shit. No, I mean we-.. We should move forward. Together. I want to be here for you, and to support you. If- If that's okay, I mean. We don't have to if-"

"I do! Britt, of course I do. We can do that. That really means a lot to me, you know? I thought you might not- I just.. why? What changed your mind?" Santana questioned in a whisper, sounding so small it broke Brittany's heart.

Stepping toward the Latina, Brittany hesitantly wrapped her arms around the smaller girls waist, smiling when Santana's arms reached the familiar place around her neck.

They stood holding each other for a few moments, coming to terms with the many emotions flooding through both of them at the first real contact in over six months.

Brittany pulled back with a reassuring squeeze to Santana's waist before taking her hand and leading her to sit down on the beat up couch.

"I talked to Quinn a few days ago. She told me, San. About how you won't hold him.." Brittany trailed off when she noticed the sudden anger on Santana's face. Quickly sorting her words, she tried to reassure the Latina.

"Don't be mad, San. She cares about you, we all do."

Santana stared at her lap for a few moments while she got her thoughts together. She knew Quinn cared about her. Of course she does, she took her in when her parents kicked her out. But she couldn't help the feeling of betrayal caused by her best friend. She thought Quinn understood why she couldn't feel a connection with the newborn. It wasn't hard to understand. It's not because she doesn't know who his father is, or that he wasn't planned. Not at all. It's because he isn't _theirs_. The only person she wanted a family with is Brittany. She's always wanted everything with Brittany. To marry her, move in together, have a child together.. she wanted it all. She still wants it all. Suddenly getting an idea, she hesitates before squeezing the blondes hand.

Brittany's eyes met hers and noticed the hesitant look hidden there before she looked down.

She took a deep breath before looking back into the reassuring bright blue eyes staring back at her and asking what was on her mind.

"Would you, maybe want to meet him?" She asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes that made the blonde smile.

"Of course I want to meet him, Santana. Where is he anyway?" Brittany asked curiously.

"Really? Oh, we kinda bribed Jason to watch him until I could find someone." she said with a sneaky smirk, referring to Quinn's older brother.

Brittany smiled at the Latina suddenly seeming relaxed.

"What did you bribe him with? Whenever their neighbors kids so much as laugh too loud he flips his shit. You didn't catch him like.. murdering anyone, did you? Because if you did I really think you sh-"

"No, Britt. He didn't kill anybody. Lets just say we found a very questionable text on his phone that managed to score us free babysitting for a full month." Santana said with a satisfied grin, excitedly shrugging her shoulders up and down.

Brittany started laughing at her ex-girlfriend, gaining a curious look from her.

When almost a minute passed and she was still laughing, Santana started to get annoyed and folded her arms across her chest.

"What the hell, Britt? Can you stop freaking vibrating for like a second and tell me what the fuck you're laughing at?" She demanded, but couldn't stop a smile toward the blonde guffawing in her seat.

"First of all, _wanky._" The blonde said, wiggling her eyebrows. "And its just.. You are _such_ a dork!" She got out before she started laughing again.

Santana stared at her, mouth agape, before she reached out and slapped the blonde's shoulder to get her to stop.

Brittany immediately feigned pain and fell forward.

"Oh? And I'm the dork? Do you want to maybe think about sitting back up here or is there something on the ground that has your attention?" Santana said playfully.

Brittany smirked before letting out a devilish laugh from her place lying on the ground beside the Latina's feet.

"Seriously, Britt. What are you doing?" Santana asked, curiously.

She heard a sigh before Brittany started to talk.

"I'm not doing anything. It's just.. I have a really great view up your dress from here, and can I just say y-_OOOF!_ Ouch! What the hell!" Brittany yelled.

Santana stood above her now, with a disbelieving look on her face before offering her hand to the blonde and pulling her up.

"You are _such_ a perv, Britt!" Santana said, bursting into a fit of laughter.

Brittany couldn't help but laugh with her before putting her arm around her shoulder and leading her back across the field.

"How about we ditch today and go see your little man?" Brittany asked hopefully.

Santana looked up at her for reassurance before letting her arm rest around the blonde's waist.

"Are you sure, Britt? You don't have to meet him yet, there's no rush, you know?"

Brittany smiled down at her before placing a gentle kiss on the Latina's temple.

"We can go now, I've got my bike.. but you have to promise not to feel me up too much on the way.." Brittany said with a wink, causing Santana to blush and nip at her waist.

"Ouch! Would you stop!?" the blonde said with a pout.

"Oh, _my bad_." The Latina said with an eye roll, before smirking at the blonde.

"Lets just go, but I really gotta pee so can you drive slowly? I can assure you I won't feel you up but I can't promise not peeing everywhere if you drive like an ass." Santana said with a smirk.

"Ew! Santana! That's so freaking gross. Jeez," Brittany said with a look of disgust on her face, before smiling softly at the Latina.  
"I have to stop at the gas station anyway, so you can do your business in there and not on my damn bike."

Santana scrunched her face up at the blondes words.

"I only need to pee, Britt. It's back to its normal color too so-"

"Oh, wow. Okay. Lets walk faster, babe. I don't wanna hear about your pee, you know that right?" Brittany said with an almost pleading look on her face, not noticing the term of endearment she used for the first time in a long time.

She may not have noticed but beside her, Santana's stomach fluttered and she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

As she climbed on the bike behind the blonde, she suddenly felt like something was finally falling into place.  
Settling her arms around Brittany's waist, she rested her head against the blondes shoulder-blade and decided that just _maybe.. _things might be okay for a while.


End file.
